just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
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