Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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