just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
