He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
Who died my cat blue again?
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Randomize
