everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
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