the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Randomize
