carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
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