Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
