He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
