i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
Randomize
