Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
Randomize
