Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
I booty called her while she was in labor.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Randomize
