there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Randomize
