i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
Randomize
