Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
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