it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
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