my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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