All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
Church boner. Awkwardddd
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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