it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Randomize
