Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
Randomize