eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Randomize
