Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Randomize
