He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
