East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
She bit a glass in half.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
