You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
