Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
