elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
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