my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Randomize
