You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Randomize
