FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
Randomize
