you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
