how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
