Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
We have so much sex to catch up on
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Randomize
