He asked to "fluff my boner.."
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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