that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Randomize
