dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
Randomize
