Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
operation have a gay friend backfired
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Randomize
