And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Randomize
