never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
Randomize
