hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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