You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize