i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Randomize
