i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
I have fence marks all over my body
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