i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
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