I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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