I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
Randomize
