I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
Randomize
