i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize