it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
it's not cheating when I paid for it
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
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