I must be too annoying 4 u.
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
