I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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