in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
You ruined the universe
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
Randomize
