dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
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