im about as happy as oj after his trial
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
