I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
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