chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize
