I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
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