the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Randomize
