Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
Randomize
