When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
In other news, I just burned my penis
Floor bacon is actually really good
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
